Hugs to you Black Swan. I had one of those days last Sunday. I was overwhelmed by grief over the losses I've suffered since leaving the org. The amount of change that occurs when you leave can sometimes overtake you. It's okay to cry. Let the emotions flow through you and watch them. There is a beauty there. Words can't really describe it. But your tears are indeed beautiful. They reflect your ability to access what makes you human, your desire to love and be loved.
Be gentle with yourself. You are not this situation you find yourself in. You are not the labels the jw's put on you. You are a wonderfully whole being. Enjoy this day, tears and all. Cozy up and read a book, go for a walk or just be still wherever you are and let the tears flow. Do what you need to do to reconnect with that wholeness, that stillness that is. Once again, be gentle with yourself. And know that I'm thinking of you and holding the space for you this day.
tall penguin
tall penguin
JoinedPosts by tall penguin
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30
tired of not existing
by BlackSwan of Memphis inok, sorry about this but i'm in tears and just need to absolutely vent..... i am so tired of being invisible, of not existing to people that have said they love me, to people who i've known for years.. i had to find out from the stupid newspaper that a family friend died from her battle w/ breast cancer.. just this week i finally get in contact with someone who had stopped going to the meetings 10 years ago and now that she's back... guess what ... that's right ... i hate this religion.
yes i am depressed today.
everything a person has built in a life time is just ripped away.
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tall penguin
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10
Leaving the forum for a while, hugs to all of you...
by FreedomFrog ini'm not good at good-byes so this will be quick, but i've known some of you for several years and felt i should.
i'll stop in for a few more days and check my mail and try to respond to this thread.
in the meantime, i wish you all the best and love you all.
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tall penguin
All the best to you. Take care.
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26
Is there anything that's disconinued that you'll love to have around today?
by JH insometimes we get attached to certain products and they get discontinued for some reason.
i miss my marcelle shampoo.
it was the perfect hypoallergenic shampoo for me.. so, what do you miss?
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tall penguin
Ombra Mud Hops Bubble Bath--my favourite bedtime ritual.
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47
Shunning and Friendship...two different things.
by gumby inthis thread is started as a result of our friend lola's thread about meeting with elders and why.. it was mentioned by our poster that many would see folly in worrying about offending the ladies that helped her and that they were not true friends since they would shun her were she dfed.. is this what many of you think?.
do you think if family or friends shun you after you are dfed or daed they are not "true friends"?.
well i totally disagree.. does a mother or father who lets their child die due to refusing a blood transfusion.....not love their child?
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tall penguin
Wow, I leave for a few hours and come back to a full fledged discussion on the nature of love. Very interesting folks. I don't have much to say at this point. I think though that this comment by Gary is one of the truest for me:
"This is one reason so many people have such a hard time finding love. They don't know what it is."
It's difficult to find something outside of ourselves that we can't locate within ourself. Until we can know love for ourselves, it is a challenge to recognize it in someone else.
Damn it, where's James Thomas when ya need him?! :)
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47
Shunning and Friendship...two different things.
by gumby inthis thread is started as a result of our friend lola's thread about meeting with elders and why.. it was mentioned by our poster that many would see folly in worrying about offending the ladies that helped her and that they were not true friends since they would shun her were she dfed.. is this what many of you think?.
do you think if family or friends shun you after you are dfed or daed they are not "true friends"?.
well i totally disagree.. does a mother or father who lets their child die due to refusing a blood transfusion.....not love their child?
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tall penguin
lol @ gary
You really have such a way with words!
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47
Shunning and Friendship...two different things.
by gumby inthis thread is started as a result of our friend lola's thread about meeting with elders and why.. it was mentioned by our poster that many would see folly in worrying about offending the ladies that helped her and that they were not true friends since they would shun her were she dfed.. is this what many of you think?.
do you think if family or friends shun you after you are dfed or daed they are not "true friends"?.
well i totally disagree.. does a mother or father who lets their child die due to refusing a blood transfusion.....not love their child?
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tall penguin
When I say misguided, I mean a misguided sense of what love is. Gumby you said "When I saw a disfellowshipped person coming to the assembly or hall and this one looked like they were hurt but really trying to "get back in", I wanted to go hug them and welcome them, thank them for coming and trying so hard......but I couldn't."
To me, this is the hallmark of a misguided love, going against what you feel to be right in your heart and telling yourself it's love. I wonder if at that point, there's another emotion that more aptly describes what is motivating the behaviour?
"A marriage is also conditional. If you cheat on your mate and hurt them bad enough, they may leave you although this one will be hurt, still love you, and grieve to no end.......but you betrayed them. Is 'conditional' a bad thing?" Yes, the contract of marriage may very well be conditional. Yet love does not have to be. In its purest form, love extends to all beings regardless of their behaviour towards us. I have by no means even begun to reach this level of love, yet I've seen it in action from others. I think children reflect it well. Their love is boundless.
Gary: "That's quite a job, separating love from behavior. If love can be separated from behavior then hate can be separated from behavior too. That means behavior doesn't matter . . . or love and hate don't matter."
Perhaps Gary's comments raise an even more interesting question: Can we even separate love from behaviour?
What is love anyway? I find the word thrown around very casually in this life. Like all language, I think it means different things to different people. I find language so very limiting and utterly futile at times like these. My apologies for opening up a dialogue I may be painfully inadequate to finish.
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27
new girl
by nomoreTRUTHplz ini began studying with the witnesses in 02 and was baptized in 04 but within months of baptism i stopped attending meetings.
my marriage was rocky at best before i studied (husband abusive) but after it just continued to get worse.
i had a baby daughter when i started and had my son while going to meetings and out in service as unbaptized publisher.
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tall penguin
Welcome. And congratulations on finding the courage to leave 2 abusive relatioships! That's incredible. May you find healing and peace.
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47
Shunning and Friendship...two different things.
by gumby inthis thread is started as a result of our friend lola's thread about meeting with elders and why.. it was mentioned by our poster that many would see folly in worrying about offending the ladies that helped her and that they were not true friends since they would shun her were she dfed.. is this what many of you think?.
do you think if family or friends shun you after you are dfed or daed they are not "true friends"?.
well i totally disagree.. does a mother or father who lets their child die due to refusing a blood transfusion.....not love their child?
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tall penguin
Interesting thoughts Gumby. I was actually reflecting on this last night as I read Lola's thread. I guess it all comes down to how you define love and what it means to you to be loved. I was told once, "When someone loves you, it should FEEL like they love you." Shunning doesn't feel like love. It feels like shunning. Our jw friends and family may love us, but it's conditional and misguided love, not the kind of love that I'm willing to accept in this life.
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JW's having kids
by Tigerman inthis is a simply question that came to me as i sit here reading all the various topics and their responses and i my mind often takes me back to a question that came to me some time ago.
simply put; why have jw's continued to have children .
.since the beginning - 1912,1918,1925 and so on if the end was coming in their lifetime .
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tall penguin
"They are unclear on what causes pregnancy."
There's some truth to this. I knew so many dubs that said their kids were "accidents". After they had 2 or 3 of these "accidents" I began to wonder whether they really understood how pregnancy takes place. It saddened me to hear that they viewed their children as accidents. I'm sure those kids sensed it too.
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9
Anyone else have "Family Day"?
by tall penguin inmany of the jw's i grew up with had "family day", a kind of pseudo-christmas, where each family member would draw another's name and buy a gift for that person.
they'd then have a special day where they'd exchange gifts and have a meal together.
my family started doing this when i was in my mid 20's.
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tall penguin
Thanks Uncle Bruce! I needed that laugh.
tall penguin